The Loser
by The Doe Eyed Girl
Summary: /And just like that I feel like an outsider prying into someone's home. Someone's dream. Someone's privacy. Someone's world./ Renji's POV.


**Warning: A very sketchy one-shot I'd written a long time back. Not my best update.**

**Thanks NieveDrop, your message inspired me to put up this one-shot :) Hope you like this!**

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And then he finally sees her.

I notice his amber orbs widen, the trailing moisture outflow stop, as he apparently processes the fact that he really was seeing her. That he was seeing Rukia.

Che. What a pansy. Crying in front of a woman. That's just uber uncool.

"Rukia…" is the last thing that escapes his lips before a blinding light engulfs him and a deafening explosion occurs.

Something inside of me is stirred.

His face…just what was that expression on his pathetic sappy face right now?

Shrugging off the trivial, I glance around to see the very flabbergasted sorry-excuse-of-a-villain-guy widen his eyes and mumble something incoherent. Ginjou it was, right? His companion, that Tsuki past-changing weirdo too, feigns a shocked expression on that otherwise annoyingly placid face of his.

I feel a twitch on my lips. Hell yeah. Its payback time, bitches.

My attention is diverted back to the clearing smoke as I spot Ichigo from behind the smoke, flexing his hands. He then turns and looks at Rukia.

That weird stirring comes up again.

That face-no, those eyes…something was different. I don't know what, but something has changed. Somehow, those tawny slits convey some silent sentiment.

"…..Rukia."

That weird sensation becomes more turbulent as slight discomfort washes over me. Did he just drawl out her name?

"Yes. It's been a long time, Ichigo."

There you go. Trust Rukia to cut the crap and come straight to the point.

Sometimes, I felt Ichigo was the more feminine one of the two.

"You've become more formidable…"

I feel a scoff threaten to slip past my lips. Is that really what you say to a guy who was crying just moments ago?

Apparently Ichigo gets an ego boost. I see that shocked expression which just yells '_Did RUKIA just compliment me?"_

"AS IF, YOU FOOL!" And there it comes, that inevitable kick to his face. Really, he should have seen that one coming. I did. That's just the way Rukia knows to express herself.

He nurses his now swollen cheek as she yells at him for being a total sissy and getting all cowardly when she's gone. I roll my eyes.

Honestly, Rukia just acted like a nanny at times, going all lecture-mode on the likes of me and Ichigo. If you count out the physical abuses, that is.

I feel my captain stir beside me and that snaps me back to the bickering duo.

And _that's_ when I notice something.

It wasn't a bickering _duo_; it was only Rukia doing the talking. Surprisingly, Ichigo hadn't retaliated as yet. I lean forward a little to catch what she's saying.

"…those bonds can be built again! Right, Ichigo?"

The said strawberry just stares at her in all his naïve glory, before I see that.

That vulnerable expression on his face.

Something _had_ changed.

The look he gave her….it was so unlike him! To smile at someone like _Rukia_ in that…tender manner.

I am positive he's never given her a fond smile like that before.

The disturbance in my chest gains momentum.

"….Rukia…."

This time he doesn't just _drawl_ out her name. His voice drops several octaves lower, almost a whisper.

"Can I say something?"

My breath hitches. It's not the breath-taking one you get on seeing a really hot chick walk by. It's the one a choking person gets.

"Tsukushima…didn't change my past...!"

Amber eyes look back at her in all their fierceness with a shine that had been dead till a few moments ago.

And that's when I realize something.

"Don't interrupt me with that serious look when I am talking, you fool!"

That weird stirring?

"Idiot! I know it's been long but gimme a break! That could have seriously hurt!"

It's not a stirring. It's a sinking sensation.

"You moron! This sword doesn't have an edge!"

That heaviness. That feeling of something drowning in my chest.

For a cool dude, I sure have a huge sappy vocab.

"…Then what is that sword?"

That difficulty in breathing. That wave of discomfort. That claustrophobia.

"It's the one Urahara made for me…"

I finally look up at them again, in time to witness that serenity surrounding them. The two are looking at each other.

"…So that I could transfer shinigami powers to you again!"

And just like that I feel like an outsider prying into someone's home. Someone's dream. Someone's privacy. Someone's world.

Ichigo and Rukia's world. The one where only the two of them existed for the world to see.

Unspoken words flit across the veil of air separating amber from amethyst. And that's when I run my desperate fingers through my hair, trying to subdue the something weighing heavily in my chest.

Seems like 17 months had given Ichigo that which 50 years couldn't give me.

Courage. To acknowledge feelings. To accept the unspoken.

"That's crap."

That clichéd villain guy's voice reaches my ears. Unsuccessfully shrugging off nothing in particular, I plaster a smirk and ready myself to awe Ichigo with my grand entry.

That's just the way I think. Deal with it.

And now, I do what I still didn't have the courage to do.

Accept. That I am the loser.

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***Resurrected from the dead* I'm back! So sorry for the long delay (To the readers of _Reaching Out To You_) but I had run out of inspiration. Not like it's suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks or something, but at least I feel like writing again.**

**I'll probably update the 3rd chapter of _Reaching Out To You(_ Thought of typing _ROTU_, but that sounds too weird...)next, if not another one-shot. Next update from me in two weeks from now- I promise.**

**Till next time! :)**


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